


The ocean, my dear, isn't so far away

by saynomore



Series: Spots of Sun [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Dysfunctional Family, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Running Away, Summer Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 14:08:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1472623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saynomore/pseuds/saynomore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Liam allowed himself to dwell on it, he'd say Zayn was like the ocean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The ocean, my dear, isn't so far away

“What are we doing, Zayn?” The cabin lights were incredibly low for Zayn to be thumbing through a magazine. Most of what Zayn did at any given point in time is just a diversion.

“We,” Zayn started, turning a page to reveal the secret behind Nicki Minaj's ass, “are taking a few thousand dollars from my dad and flying to Los Cabos. That’s what we’re doing.” He never lifted his eyes from the page.

“Zayn.” When Zayn heard the tone in Liam’s voice he glanced up and his face instantly softened.

“Babe, look, I need this. I need this so bad right now.” His eyes were so wide and luminescent in the soft brown light and it was all Liam could do to remain steely.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you just stole, what, a few tens of thousands of dollars from your father and left the country without any notice.” Liam whispered.

Zayn’s soft expression plummeted and was replaced with a look Liam had seen all too many times.

“Don’t patronize me. I’m not a child, I’m perfectly aware of what I’ve done.” He emphatically flipped to the next page with a slap to make his point.

“I’m sorry. I know that.” Liam was too tired for this. He was tired of playing guessing games and walking around Zayn like he was about to shatter. He was tired of not hearing from Zayn for days on end and then just having him show up in his ferrari at four in the morning. He’s tired of being scared to see Zayn again because of what new marks might be marring his skin. Liam dropped head to his hands in defeat. 

Zayn’s hand traced lines up Liam’s back and in circles, saying the words his mouth couldn’t. 

“I like it better when we don’t yell at each other.” Zayn remarked quietly. Liam turned to face him, now resting his chin in his palm. 

“Me too. ‘M sorry.” His voice sounded muffled and tacked together but it still made Zayn smile.

“Do you really think my dad will miss it?” Zayn asked, a mask of confidence prohibiting the ‘me’ from coming out instead. “Besides, it’s going to be so beautiful, Liam, you’ll love it. The water is bluer than the sky there. Just you wait.”

So he did.

\--

It’s easy to forget just how much money Zayn’s family has.  
Zayn doesn’t like to flaunt it as much as most of his friends do. The ferrari was a gift from his mum’s parents before they moved back to the UK, and it wasn’t all that extraordinary compared to some of the other imports his friends drove. It didn’t change the fact that he lived in a house worth seventy houses in Liam’s neighborhood. 

As soon as they landed, Zayn took Liam’s hand and curled his fingers around it in protection like he always did. “Are we good?” He looked so sad, so hopeful and worried and it hit Liam hard.

“Of course, babe, always.” Liam found himself admitting. Zayn kissed his hand, then dragged him off the plane to claim their bags. 

\--

The orange light of the sinking sun skipped across Zayn’s skin.

No, Liam thought, it’s not right. It’s never right when it’s his own mind, because his words are so fumbled and dead and nothing like Zayn, nothing like how he glows and vibrates. 

But the sun was setting, and Zayn was in his arms, and he looked beautiful.

Liam thought maybe that was a start. 

\--

They were staying in a hotel with palm trees and pristinely electric pools and ballrooms and mini bars and it’s Zayn, so. Of course. Of course they are.

Zayn didn’t let Liam carry his bag from the cab to their room but he struggled the whole time, fumbling out a “No, gracias,” and a smile whenever the employees tried to take it for him.

“What? Am I funny to you?” Zayn muttered when he dropped the key card trying to get into their suite. 

And they didn’t usually do this, the teasing and the jokes and the fond mockery and the affection. But it’s as if the salty air had made Liam drunk and fluid so he kissed Zayn. He put his hands on his hips and spun him around and leaned him against the door and kissed him. 

Zayn emitted a sound of surprise but played along, wrapping his arms around Liam’s neck. The suitcase fell to the floor with a thud, but neither of them noticed. 

“Babe, We’re in Mexico,” Liam kissed into Zayn’s mouth. The other boy pulled back, smile Pacific-wide. 

“Li, we’re in Mexico.” 

Zayn picked up the suitcase and Liam opened the door. The sky was dark but the lights in the room were bright. They pulled into each other at the sight of the rose petals covering the bed and the mini bar and the flatscreen. 

“You’ve never seen the ocean.”

“Hmm?” Liam looked over at Zayn, whose brows were pulled together in thought. 

“You’ve never left central Arizona, which means..” He trailed off. 

“Yea, I guess not.” Liam shrugged. 

Zayn pulled him, hard, scampering to the reflective balcony door. 

“Look at it it, Li.” Zayn breathed, eyes playing beautifully in the moonlight. 

It was beautiful. The moon cast long white streams across the nearly still water and it lit up the whole beachside. 

He wanted to tell Zayn that while the ocean was beautiful, nothing beat the way he looked when he was under Liam’s sheets at four in the afternoon with messy hair and laughing eyes. Nothing beat how Zayn looked at him, when he had enough courage to be the one instigating. Nothing beat how Zayn looked when he was a country away from the very man who got him there. 

Swallowing the words back down took more effort than it usually did, and Zayn caught him looking.

“What?” Zayn asked. 

“It’s really beautiful.” 

“Yeah,” Zayn said, tucking Liam into his side. “It is.”

\--

Liam woke to the sight of Zayn sitting on the foot of the bed with his feet tucked under his body, eating a plate of waffles. 

“They have waffles in Mexico?” Liam groaned, voice groggy from sleep. Zayn turned to him smiling and set the plate on the duvet. And then he was on Liam, crawling up his body and kissing powdered sugar and syrup to his lips. 

“Ew, no, morning breath. Stop it,” Liam laughed, trying to dodge Zayn’s mouth. 

“Don’t care. I wanna kiss you.” Zayn replied in a syrupy tone.

“You’re in a good mood.” Liam remarked. 

Zayn raised his eyebrows, another bite of waffle already in his mouth. He shifted his weight so he was sitting square on Liam’s lap. “Really good waffles,” he explained with food in his mouth. 

“You’re so gross. Don’t talk with your mouth open.” 

“Hey!” Zayn swallowed. He pointed his finger into Liam’s bare chest. “Don’t tell me what to do. You know, I was gonna say my mood might have something to do with the shirtless boy in my bed, but you ruined it.” 

Liam replied by taking the fork and cutting a bite of waffle for himself.

“You did not.” Zayn cast a deathly look down at him. They wrestled around for the fork, which ended with Liam getting a bite of the waffles.Their positions reversed, so Liam was now straddling Zayn’s thighs. 

“Okay. Okay. You win.” Zayn giggled. He brought his hands up to rest on Liam’s hips, and they traded off taking bites of the berry covered waffles until the sun peeked through their windows. 

It took a few hours for them to finally get out of bed. Zayn barricaded himself in the bathroom for a good hour of that time, no doubt meticulously washing and styling his hair. After he got dressed, Liam busied himself by walking down to the beach and chatting with the local staff manning the bar. An older woman with coffee colored skin and her son, who was about Liam’s age, came over and sat with him when no other customers showed up. They were both very excited at the prospects of a ‘gringo’ knowing Spanish so well. 

Two women came down to order a drink and the mother got up to take their order. Her son stayed, smiling at Liam and introducing himself as Ivan. He told the boy about his school back in the states. They traded off stories about classmates and English and when Liam told Ivan that it was his first time to see the ocean, he was excited. 

“It’s beautiful, no?” the boy asked in English, cracking a full toothed smile. 

Liam thought of Zayn, bent over the counter in their bathroom to check his hair in the mirror. 

“Very.” He smiled with Ivan, and shook his hand goodbye. 

When he got to their room it took a good while for Zayn to hear him knocking over the thudding bass coming from behind the door. 

When he finally answered, Zayn had a towel wrapped around his waist and a toothbrush in his mouth. “Where’d you go?” he asked, turning around and leading Liam into the bathroom after him. 

“Down to the beach. Talked to a few people.” Liam replied, crossing his arms and leaning in the doorway. 

“Without me?” Zayn remarked haughtily, spitting into the sink and turning on the faucet. 

“Babe, I was talking to them in Spanish. Doubt it would’ve been much fun for you.”

Zayn nodded tightly. He walked past Liam into the bedroom and lugged the suitcase onto the bed. 

Something had changed in his demeanor since breakfast. His shoulders tensed and dropped when he unzipped the suitcase, and he’d turned himself so his back was the only thing Liam could see.

“Zayn. Talk to me.” Shaking his head, Zayn proceeded to open the bag. “Zayn.”

Liam circled the bed and climbed on top of the suitcase, hands immediately going on top of Zayn’s shoulders. Head still ducked, Zayn cleared his throat. 

“Please don’t leave. Without telling me.” 

“Zayn, I-”

“Liam. Please.”

Liam hugged him, and it was the most uncomfortable position he could be in. The suitcase pushed back on the bed and it felt like he was about to fall, but Zayn’s head was on his shoulder and he was talking to Liam and that was the best kind of progress. 

“Okay.”

It could feel like there was no way they were going to win. The two of them have came a long way since they had started dating a year ago, but Liam couldn’t change the places Zayn’s mind went. All he could do was stay.

\--

“El aquelarre.”  
“You’re really holding this over my head, aren’t you?” Zayn snorted.

“Yup.” Liam answered, smiling at him and tapping on Zayn’s aviators. “Not often poor undereducated boys like me can surpass the Zayn Maliks of the world.”

“What does that even mean?” Zayn inquired bemusedly. 

“I’m saying it’s not often that I know something you don’t, that’s all.”

“Okay, oh wise one, what does el agelar mean?”

“El aquelarre.”

“Will you stop?” Zayn laughed and pushed Liam a little harder than he intended, and he hit the rail on the side of the boat. 

“Hey. Watch it.” Liam chided, shoving Zayn so he toppled off the cushioned seat onto the floor of the deck. 

“Oh, that’s it. Come here.” Zayn grabbed Liam’s hand and pulled him down. Knocking Zayn flat on his back, Liam landed with his hands on Zayn’s chest and his body splayed across the other boy’s body. Both of their sunglasses laid neglected on the ground. 

“Think they can see us from here?” Zayn asked stealthily, eyes winking with mischief in the sun. 

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Zayn.” Liam chastised, climbing off of him and picking up his glasses. “Here.” He pushed the glasses over Zayn’s ears. “We’re almost there anyway.”

\--

They took the last boat out for the day, which explained the long shadows all down the beach that the late afternoon sun cast. It was beautiful, and cliffs of emerald and grey stood tall all around the small formation. The cool water chased up and down the beach, carrying small children and seashells and boats gently in and out with it. Liam and Zayn sat together with their legs outstretched for the water to just barely reach. Liam’s head was on the other boy’s shoulder and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt such peace. 

\--

“Una hora hasta que nos tenemos que ir!” A little boy in piranha swim trunks yelled from the edge of the boat. 

“What’s he saying?” Zayn turned to ask Liam, who was climbing over a gap in the rocks.  
“Uh, I think we have an hour left.” Liam crossed the gap successfully and reached out to help Zayn. They were returning to the main area after circling the beach to try to see the mainland. Zayn didn’t reach out for Liam’s hand and instead stood his ground. “What?” Liam asked confusedly.

“Come back.” Zayn stated. 

“What? Zayn, you heard him, we-” Zayn grabbed Liam’s hand and yanked him over the gap. 

“Jesus, Zayn! Wha-” 

“Shhh. Come on.”

“There’s nothing over here, what are you doing?” 

Instead of returning to the beach, Zayn pulled him into a narrow space between the towering rocks. The sound of the surf was still in Liam’s ears as Zayn pushed him against the slope of the rock and kissed him heavily. Grasping Liam’s hands in his own, Zayn pushed them onto the surface of the rock above Liam’s head, giving himself more control. 

“You’re so hot, Liam. You’re so fucking sexy, and sometimes,” Zayn stuttered, dropping his head to mouth over Liam’s neck, “I can’t stop thinking about you. Sometimes it’s all I think about for days.” 

If Liam allowed himself to dwell on it, he’d say Zayn was like the ocean. He rose and fell and quaked and quelled in such an unpredictable way it always left Liam reeling. He’d push until he broke and would bounce right back, would show up begging Liam to let him stay and wouldn’t be there when he woke up. 

The only time he’d say anything about them was in the heat of the moment when he wanted to get off. And Liam hated thinking in that way, because a year of ups and downs had to have meant something. 

“Wanna suck you off.” Zayn leveled, making his way down Liam’s body, but Liam wrapped his hand around Zayn’s wrist and pulled him back up. 

“Let’s just enjoy this, yeah? No need to rush anything.” His voice was gentle but they both knew, as always, that there was more behind his words. Zayn looked him in the eyes but Liam just pulled him in again.

He leaned in, clasping Zayn’s hands and bringing them to their waistline. “Just go slow.” 

They traded soft kisses as the tide grew higher and higher, nearly forgetting but making it back to the beach just as the last of the group was piling on the boat. Zayn didn’t let go of Liam’s hand for the entire ride back to the shore.

\--

They ate dinner at the beachside cafe where Liam sat in the morning. Liam introduced Zayn to Ivan and invited him to come join them for dinner. Ivan was quite funny, recounting many stories of spoiled and filthy rich tourists. He won Zayn over in a matter of minutes and had him cackling into his gorditas. 

Once they had both finished eating, Zayn made Liam go back to their room and get the still damp swim trunks from where they were drying over the shower. He came back to see Zayn and Ivan shaking hands and smiling at each other. 

They changed in the bathrooms by the beach, and by the time they were done the sun had colored the entire beach a beautiful pink. 

“Ready to swim in the ocean, babe?” Zayn asked, tugging Liam’s hand when he looked over at him. 

“Are you?” Liam questioned back. He darted out of Zayn’s grasp and bounded towards the purple water. 

“Hey! Liam, what the fuck?” Zayn yelled, running a short distance behind him. 

The water felt amazing. It was refreshing in a way the starched with chlorine pool water would never be, and Liam dove under to feel it over his face. Eyes screwed shut, he surrendered himself to the will of the water. Every bit of negativity in his mind gave way to the tide and the pull of the current. 

He surfaced a few seconds later to find Zayn only a few feet behind him, hair still perfectly intact from the long events of the day.

“While this is pretty and all, you know that sunrise and sunset are the most common times for shark attacks.” Zayn grinned at Liam, swimming closer to him in the dappled light.

“You’re kidding.”

Zayn shook his head. “Not one bit.”

“Stop, Zayn, I know you’re lying to me.”

“Nuh uh,” Zayn repeated, shaking his head with a wolfish grin. “It took years after my sixth grade marine biology unit to trust the ocean enough to stick my toes in, so. ‘Fraid not.”

Liam wasn’t going to lie, the thought freaked him out a good amount. Sharks aren’t something people who live in New Mexico know an insane amount about.

“You look so scared right now, it’s fucking hilarious,” Zayn sneered.

“You trying to get back at me?” Liam asked, swimming a bit closer to Zayn.

“What if I was.” Zayn challenged, eager grin still in place. 

“Then I’d just have to do this.” Liam catapulted himself at Zayn, using his weight to jump on Zayn and knock him under the surface of the water. He came up spluttering and gasping with a murderous look on his face.

“You, Liam James Payne, are a dead man.”

They stayed in the water until their hands were pruning and their eyes were stinging from the salinity of the water. They laughed and clung to each other and fought and kissed as the sun gave way to the depths of the ocean, only surrendering when the last of the chairs and umbrellas had been put away for the night by the hotel employees. Once they were on the shore Zayn carefully wrapped Liam’s shoulders in his towel and put his arm around his waist, talking animatedly to Ivan and his fellow servers like his action was nothing. They got a few stares and murmurs but Zayn didn’t bat an eye, instead laughing and smiling and gently rubbing Liam’s ribs in reassurance.

When they got back to their room they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. Sand covered every inch of their skin and hair and it shook out onto the bleached linen sheets as they rocked into each other to the sound of the rising tide.

Zayn came with a chant of Liam’s name into the salty air. It echoed off of the dim walls long after he’d fallen asleep with an arm over Liam’s waist and his lips in his hair.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh thanks so much for reading. I've been holding onto this for awhile in the hopes of making it more complete, but I decided that I would just upload it and see what happened from there. Feedback and support would be fantastic :)
> 
> Find me at ziamstateofmind.tumblr.com, and as always, hope you enjoyed.


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